hawkeyowa: (At least wait until my eyes are closed.)
[personal profile] hawkeyowa
[Jack kept himself relatively busy today. He knows with spring high in the air, there's cleaning to do...and flooding. It's got him nervous, certainly. Even in HQ, he still has some kind of paranoia, so he re-caulked his bathroom just in case. It's been a big job, especially what with checking for cracks and whatnot in his room, and going so far as to check the plumbing because god forbid anything gets through.

So when Day One of the flood preparation project is done, he slumps down on his bed for what he thinks is a well-deserved rest. Rolling on his side, he yanks off one of his work gloves and going to put it on the bedside table beside his alarm clock. However, he spots a slip of paper just at the base of the clock...something he doesn't remember seeing earlier, and he's walked by that area countless times today. Maybe someone thought he wasn't in and left him a note? Curious, he picks it up, reading over the contents. Suddenly, his face goes pale and he feels an icy sensation creeping in the pits of his stomach. His hands start shaking as he reads it over again.
]


[This had to be a joke. Someone had to be playing a sick...sick joke on him. It was a part of his history he wanted to ignore more than any other part. Considered to be one of the top ten worst human experiments of all time...and one of the very worst psychological experiments, the Monster Study took dozens of orphans around Iowa and examined their ability to learn speech. Positive remarks and rewards were given to half the group of orphans, and the other half were belittled and punished for even the smallest speech flaw. Many developed horrible stutters, and some went mute.

And he was a part of it.

He remembers it all too clearly, and he doesn't--

Wait, he remembers it. He's never remembered anything so negative before. Usually all the traumatic experiences--being war, fighting, bad storms--all went past him and into that demented fallback he had cackling somewhere in his mind. Then why, of all things, does he remember the Monster Study? If it was Hyde who did all the fighting and killing, and picked up on all the horrible things of his past, how come Jack is left with something so sick as this?

'Shit, Jackie. I've done some shitty things before, but to orphans? Now, that is messed up.'

Not even bothering to shut his other side up, it disgusts him deeply that there was one thing he actually did. Even from something in 1939, it reverberates through him now, and images of children--barely even adolescents yet--crying and apologizing in shivering stutters for things they didn't even do wrong...it's haunting him now.

Then there's another thought that stings deep and causes that cold nausea feeling to intensify. Is he any worse than Hyde, really? Is there a crack in that mild-mannered farm boy persona that hints that all is certainly not well?

His first response is to crumple up the paper in his hand (his scarred hand, as if he needed insult to mental injury) and fold one arm across his eyes, fighting back the nauseous feelings shaking him. Sleep certainly won't come easy now, what with these realizations and the memories he hoped so badly that he would forget. One comment from a spokesperson for the school where it was conducted haunts him:

"This is a study that should never be considered defensible in any era...In no way would I ever think of defending this study. In no way. It’s more than unfortunate."
]


[ooc: Okay, basic summary here: in 1939, a professor at the University of Iowa wanted to see if positive and negative remarks would cure children of stuttering. They took orphans into the study, believing that no one would care, and ran the tests. They rewarded half the group, even if they slipped up. The other group was punished rather harshly for even the tiniest slip up in their speech. Yes, a lot of kids developed stutters or chose not to speak at all, and some of those orphans were committed to mental institutions later in life, where some still are.

What I think makes this a little disturbing and why it's considered such a terrible human experiment is because the children ranged from ages 5-15, and were almost disregarded as people and more like little tests. It's a little frightening that it practically happened in our own backyard, and the University just apologized about it in 2001. That, and now the type of study that the professor used is called the 'Iowa Study Method'. I think that would mess Jack up quite a bit, for being a state where supposedly nothing happens.]

Date: 2010-04-16 02:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ Gabe now had the nerve to talk to Jack again, after all he figured he made an idiot of himself. It was cruel to play such a game on Jack after all, to hint that he killed someone when he knew the truth. Even if it was an idea he thought of while he was a little buzzed (aka, drunk) at the time.

No gifts. That'd seem insincere and seems like you're trying to to suck up to them. He didn't want to give off that appearance, not to mention he'd likely over do it and carry some weight on his chest. It was a miracle on some level that he was able to function the way he did without any outward pain to those unobservant. (Even if his movements were most definitely strained.)

He peered into the room, actually genuinely curious. He wasn't worried, he just wanted to apologize and be sincere as possible then never talk to him again since ... The blood began pumping. Don't think that way. Don't.
]

Hey!

Date: 2010-04-16 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ He continues to stare at Jack, silence fills the air since neither of them say a single word on each side. After that ploy on the other state, he wouldn't blame him why he wouldn't make an effort to say a word.

Gabe really wanted to do this to get this out of the way for good, cut off ties until ... he fixed everything. Wisconsin needed to fix things, on his own without being a hassle to anyone. No asking for funding and help those who needed it. He wanted to apologize, for everything. But now he just realized he had too much pride to do so.

There was something stirring as his head began to scratch on the inside, clawing away as he continued to stare at Jack. It wasn't unbearable anymore, but it was now a constant when he talked to others, he accepted it as a part of daily life.

Gabe begun to rub his forehead, to distract himself. Himself. Yes. As in Gabe.
]

Date: 2010-04-16 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

What're you standing there for?

Date: 2010-04-16 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ ... Why was he standing there? He was thinking of apologizing but the longer he thought of it, the more he let it fester the hammering grew louder -

No, just stop thinking and you'd be fine.

... But what the hell was he supposed to say? The noise was coming back but he continued to rub his head.
]

... I was wonderin' what was up with ya. It's my job to check up on ya, since ya tend to flood.

[ That worked. ]

Date: 2010-04-16 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
Huh...

[]

Th-thanks...

[]

Yeah...thanks.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ He noticed that stutter. He was still nervous. There was a part of him that wanted to say don't try this yet, he's still not used to you just go back and lock yourself back up until you're fit to be a normal state.

He took a deep breath, to stop that rushing thought and what tried to seep out.
]

... Do ya need help with anythin'? Or do ya have someone else to do that for ya?

[ Like those stupid idiots who were incapable of taking care of themselves, walking around wanting to help others yet looking like they were ready to collapse any minute -

No. Stop going down that way in terms of thinking.
]

Date: 2010-04-16 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
N-nah. [] Not somethin' you can fix.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ He gritted his teeth, continuing to stare at Jack as he twisted his fingers cracking them one by one to keep his focus. Not slip out of control. ]

... Yeah. Probably not. It's somethin' else, huh? That I can't solve with sendin' supplies or aid I mean.
Edited Date: 2010-04-16 03:37 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-04-16 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Ya wanna know what's botherin' me?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ He seems to almost move back with that glance to him. He's not used to people staring at him directly in the eyes - simply because most either cower away from him or attack him from behind.

He kept talking to keep that headache away.
]

... Yeah. Cause ya have no one else to talk to about it, right? It's kinda good to get it out, ya know?

Date: 2010-04-16 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

The Monster Study, that's what. HQ decided to remind me about it.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badgerbadassus.livejournal.com
[ He seemed to pause. As if he's trying to remember - he had heard of it... But he couldn't remember where -


( but there were so many other people who did things for the greater good and their own beliefs? and they were wrong. has he actually been punished or did he simply walk away from it? it has faded into obscurity while many will flock to him, saying it's all right and all is forgiven. after all, there is not a blemish on him - )

whythehellmustconstantlysneakwayintoherebringupthatdisgustinglineofreasoning?

- Spacing out for more than ten seconds he shook his head to regain his composure. Monster Study. Jack... was sorry, it seemed so... that made it all right, didn't it?

( no. it doesn't. because they will say it was only a small number that didn't matter - ) ]


... Oh.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
He pauses at the door and looks positively worn out.
Jack? 're ya alrigh'?

Date: 2010-04-16 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Hey, Will. I'm... I've been better.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
He makes his way over to his side.
D'ya... need anythin'?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
N-no, not really.

[]

Can I ask ya a question?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
Uhh... Ya ever do somethin'... [] Ya ever do somethin' so bad that even when someone mentions it, it bothers ya?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
He nods slowly.
Y-yeah... yeah ah have.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

I got reminded of somethin' I did.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
He looks down at it, puzzling over the words.
Ah... ah don' understand.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
Back in the late Thirties, I helped with this study at Iowa City's place. There were orphans, an' it was about speech, and the professor punished some of the kids just to... [] ...just to see what would happen to their speech.

Date: 2010-04-16 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
O-oh... A-ah'm sorry darlin'...

Date: 2010-04-16 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
It's nothin' to be sorry about for you. I'm the one who let it happen.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilwentdownto.livejournal.com
Ah'm sure ya couldn' help it.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uncaoki.livejournal.com
Wanders past . . . pauses . . . and backs up. "You alright stranga?"


ooc: I'm actually doing a ton of research on experiments like this that took place all over the country. Georgia had the last, and largest asylum in the country. Was going to make a post about it as soon as I thought up how to do so.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Ahh, could be better.

[ooc: I read about it for a sociology project I did last semester. I've always found things like it interesting. :B]

Date: 2010-04-16 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uncaoki.livejournal.com
"Names Oki. Pleased tah meet'cha. If you dont' mind my askin' . . . you're lookin' kinda rough. Feelin' alright?"

ooc: ME TOO!!! I'm planning to go visit that asylum this weekend. Hopefully.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
M'name's Jack. State of Iowa.

[]

Just kinda got reminded of somethin' bad I did a long time ago.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uncaoki.livejournal.com
"Oh. Bad memories left to scab only festa and puss. That is no way to let it heal. You wanna heal, you gotta do sumin' about it. Ya gotta pick it off and let it run."

Date: 2010-04-16 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
Yeah, I know that, but it happened years ago. An' technically, it wasn't supposed to happen to me.

Date: 2010-04-16 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uncaoki.livejournal.com
"Ooh? Wha'makes'you'so special . . . if ya dun miind mai askin?" His tone isn't accusatory but generally curious.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Uhh, see, there's someone I know who usually takes care of that stuff for me.

Date: 2010-04-17 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] uncaoki.livejournal.com
"What happened if you don't mind my askin'. Ain't no point in tryin' tah help if I don't even know what tha problem is."

Date: 2010-04-16 02:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fortdesmoines.livejournal.com
( She rolls on in, all sunshine, rainbows, and pretty things. This may involve the fact that she's holding a tiny bell tied to a red ribbon, making a soft tingle in her palm as she sways a little.

But then she stops her happy sunshiny-ness to peer at her father, completely forgetting what she had come to ask him.
) Daddy, what's wrong?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fortdesmoines.livejournal.com
( She takes this paper, bell making a little noise, and reads it over. Once, twice, until it clicks. Ohhh. She remembers this--this experiment... ) It doesn't make Daddy a bad person. Sure, it's bad, but--it's not like you're going to do it again. Right? ( This is a vicious place. )

Date: 2010-04-16 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
That's not the point, hun. You and I know I won't, but it's just--

[]

--I actually remember doin' it.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fortdesmoines.livejournal.com
( She thinks for a moment before the side of her fist connects with her palm. ) Maybe you...um. Um--repressed, the memories?

Date: 2010-04-16 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
I should have, and someone else should have handled it, but... I actually did it.

[]

Date: 2010-04-16 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fortdesmoines.livejournal.com
Well... ( She taps her chin. ) ... I really don't know then, daddy. But, admitting it is the first part of forgiving yourself for it, I think.

Date: 2010-04-16 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Ya think I could do it? I mean, it was pretty bad.

Date: 2010-04-16 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lakesyaknow.livejournal.com
[ He steps into the room hesitantly. Will has been busy, so he decided to get out more and visit his old friends ]

Hey Jack!

[ But his face falls a little ]

Something wrong?

Date: 2010-04-16 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkeyeiowa.livejournal.com
[]

Sorta. HQ pulled a dick move on me.

Date: 2010-04-16 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lakesyaknow.livejournal.com
[ He nods slowly, deciding to take a seat by the bed ]

Ah....care to talk about it?

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Jack Ellis

February 2011

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