[ He tries to snap at him and appear threatening, to some degree he is but only because of how sick he looks, but he tries to continue cleaning either way by pulling out of his grasp. ]
I know you haven't forgiven me. I know you never will. You're going to use this against me for the rest of my existence, reminding me at every opportunity of what I did...
[ He nearly choked on his blood, gagging and swallowing it back down. It's interesting how calm he is, perhaps it's from bleeding though with his body relaxing from it. ] Not that it's your fault of course. It's not your fault. You're a normal and good person. That's why you're recognized for good things. That's why you're known for some good and normal things. [ He repeats that a few times, before he speaks another line. ] ... I'm notnormal... I've ...come to terms with this. A monster that feels no empathy, run on pure selfishness, and insane. I ... have to keep my word to Lou - I don't want to take advantage of him and break a simple promise. Not after...
[ Not after he was treated normal. Maybe it would be a matter of time before that other thing did something rash tossing everything out of balance for irrelevant information, maybe it was only a matter of time before the monster he kept in for years went homicidal again, and maybe it was only a matter of time before the past he hid and intentionally forgot for years caught up with Gabe, ripping and tearing away the last shreds of sanity, individuality, and being.
And even if it was a little while, at least Lou didn't look at him with fear. Say he was scared of him. Insult him. Use him. Treat him like he didn't belong and look at him from a distance from what seemed to be behind a glass wall.
At least around Lou, he could play pretend and be treated normal.
He realized he spaced out, slipped off. ]
... I just want to do this promise for Lou, just this one thing I can do right... okay?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-08-24 12:01 am (UTC)I know you haven't forgiven me. I know you never will. You're going to use this against me for the rest of my existence, reminding me at every opportunity of what I did...
[ He nearly choked on his blood, gagging and swallowing it back down. It's interesting how calm he is, perhaps it's from bleeding though with his body relaxing from it. ] Not that it's your fault of course. It's not your fault. You're a normal and good person. That's why you're recognized for good things. That's why you're known for some good and normal things. [ He repeats that a few times, before he speaks another line. ] ... I'm not normal... I've ...come to terms with this. A monster that feels no empathy, run on pure selfishness, and insane. I ... have to keep my word to Lou - I don't want to take advantage of him and break a simple promise. Not after...
[ Not after he was treated normal. Maybe it would be a matter of time before that other thing did something rash tossing everything out of balance for irrelevant information, maybe it was only a matter of time before the monster he kept in for years went homicidal again, and maybe it was only a matter of time before the past he hid and intentionally forgot for years caught up with Gabe, ripping and tearing away the last shreds of sanity, individuality, and being.
And even if it was a little while, at least Lou didn't look at him with fear. Say he was scared of him. Insult him. Use him. Treat him like he didn't belong and look at him from a distance from what seemed to be behind a glass wall.
At least around Lou, he could play pretend and be treated normal.
He realized he spaced out, slipped off. ]
... I just want to do this promise for Lou, just this one thing I can do right... okay?