[ Perhaps it was the possibility that Wisconsin was always like this, but nobody picked up the signs. That if someone went close to and hugged him, he'd freeze and not move an inch until they let go. As a child, if he was scared of someone who had authority over him he'd simply fall over and look up at them expecting them to act. Or run away in fear, because if there was no safety in his life except when he was alone - perhaps - just perhaps that was the simple answer. The reason he didn't seek attention or ask help from anyone was the principle that each time he got attention from others, it was bad. It hurt.
In all respects, it wasn't anyone's fault he ended up this way but the meaning that Gabe's answer to everything was to freeze, run, hide, and snap. While those problems were pushed down, forgotten, while he gained a mask of civility, kindness, full of bold laughter and arrogance the moment someone grabbed him - terrified him.
That was he was scared to pull from his grasp, to use his all. He expected if he moved or broke from this restraint he'd get hurt. And why he just made small tugs instead of one big one he knew how to get out of.
Everyone is so nice to him, he was just too sensitive hearing the insults about being a psycho, a monster, a sicko, and not good enough.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem. ]
... I just want to pretend I'm a decent person, clean your room and watch over you for a bit. Because your brother told me to because he ... didn't know how to ... approach you. [ His voice shakes now, as if something wants to come up - probably vomit but he pushes that back down again. ] You're lucky to have a brother like that. I just want to play this a little longer, that I can pretend to be a good ... brother too.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-08-24 08:49 pm (UTC)In all respects, it wasn't anyone's fault he ended up this way but the meaning that Gabe's answer to everything was to freeze, run, hide, and snap. While those problems were pushed down, forgotten, while he gained a mask of civility, kindness, full of bold laughter and arrogance the moment someone grabbed him - terrified him.
That was he was scared to pull from his grasp, to use his all. He expected if he moved or broke from this restraint he'd get hurt. And why he just made small tugs instead of one big one he knew how to get out of.
Everyone is so nice to him, he was just too sensitive hearing the insults about being a psycho, a monster, a sicko, and not good enough.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem.
Everyone is so nice to him. He is the problem. ]
... I just want to pretend I'm a decent person, clean your room and watch over you for a bit. Because your brother told me to because he ... didn't know how to ... approach you. [ His voice shakes now, as if something wants to come up - probably vomit but he pushes that back down again. ] You're lucky to have a brother like that. I just want to play this a little longer, that I can pretend to be a good ... brother too.